Moments.
SAT Prep was SO boring today. The groups are never talkative, the girl was last minute like the other one, totally not prepared &nervous. She said something and Lonna laughed. I looked at her and started laughing, knowing I wouldn’t be able to stop. I just knew Lonna was having her moments where she laughs uncontrollably. It was a life or death moment— to accomplish not having anyone hear me laughing in a completely silent room during a serious topic. But I failed, and I did a airy laugh and people looked back at me. What was worse was that I continued too, LOL. Then I shook my head at Lonna and told her it’s impossible for us to sit next to each other. Yet we talked during prep, helped each other on the questions &wrote short notes to each other.
After class we went to American Apparel so I could get my jacket, I was excited! And when I was paying Lonna was painting her nails with the nail polish in front. I laughed cause I thought “Look, we got a badass over here” &Lonna said she couldn’t finish her nails as good cause she saw me laugh. LOL, I swear the trip made me know her laughing moments more.
So-Cal Trip.
Woke up at 5:30am &headed off to the EGC office. A total of 40 people went, 14 from OHS so we definitely outnumbered other schools. The trip was filled with alot of the time on the bus, nonetheless still filled with laughs from people singing, getting way into IP man, &singing Pursuit of Happiness constantly with Lonna. Lonna was able to sleep majority of the time, when I couldn’t :( And when I did, People took pictures of me sleeping -___-‘
Visited UC Merced, USC, UCLA &UCSB. I have a better understanding of where I want to go, which is awesome. I was able to meet up with my sister at UCLA &had to give her jury duty papers, so I said “You’ve been jury dutied” when I handed her it. Hahhaha. I bought some stuff then we saw sunglasses we both liked at the same time. Then she said she’ll buy it for us :D now we have some matching in a wierd way. I can’t wait to roadtrip with people &come back, I HAVE to try Free Birds! and see the beach.
No more
negative thoughts and more positive outlooks. Instead of tearing myself down, I need to believe in myself. If no one will, I can’t give up on myself.
And if not for me, this is for you. I am deeply sorry.
Check your ‘self before you wreck yo’self.
More and more, I’m starting to see everyone’s true colors. All I can say- I’m fucking disappointed. I thought I deserved better; heck. If I knew I’d be stuck in the position I would have done alot of things different. I could however, make a post all in resent or express in colors.
At least I’m making my emotions worthy.
